pairing: soukoku
2,930 words
rating: General
chapters: 1/1
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Dazai bounced his knees, legs crossed one over the other, a dull thud everytime they jerked up and down. He rested his head behind him against the plush couch cushions and stared at the ceiling, counting over and over again how many tiles were on the roof.
There were fifteen and three fourths roof tiles along the back wall, and fourteen solid tiles along the side…. He never understood why they cut ceiling tiles off in an awkward manner, why not measure the room accordingly in ceiling tiles? They were square feet, weren't they? A standard American unit of measurement.
“Dazai,” A gentle voice broke him out of the haze he kept himself in. He lifted his head slowly, tangled and messy brown hair falling over his eyes, face red with gravitational blood rush. Dazai hummed to acknowledge that he was listening.
Kouyou held her flip phone to her ear, charms clinking together when she nodded her head, motioning for Dazai to come over to her desk. He complied, standing and stretching out his joints and bones, letting them crack and pop, not unlike a cat. He’d been awake on that couch for almost 20 hours, zoning out and staying in his own head, swimming with thoughts like a fish to a small pond. Kouyou’s attempts to make Dazai rest were futile.
The teen stands in front of his superior’s desk, arms behind his back befittingly, eyes trained on the trinkets and items decorating her desk. Small memoir pieces from her travels, a framed photo or two, a couple of small gifts from others. It was filled with character, almost like the desk screamed ‘Ozaki Kouyou’. In some sense, Dazai envied it.
At the sound of a phone snapping shut, Dazai’s eyes were torn away from the desk, lifting his gaze to make eye contact with her. She had a gentle, poorly hidden smile dawning her features.
Dazai remained silent, waiting for Kouyou to speak before he did. That is, if what she had to say was anything worth a response.
“I was just informed that Nakahara is in stable condition. You’re aware that the hospital does not allow visitors at a time like such, or so soon. But we’re also both well aware that that means nothing to you. All I ask is that you let that boy rest.”
“Thank you, Ane-san.” Dazai smiles, sly. In such a manner that Kouyou knows he’ll be getting up to something, but not in a million years would he be caught. While she turns around to rifle around for something unbeknownst to Dazai in her drawers, Dazai ducks his head and hurries out of the office, slipping through the hallway in practiced motions, always remaining unseen and unheard.
Years of sneaking through said halls would definitely give him an edge on doing so.
The hospital was a separate, far off building from the Port Mafia headquarters and main building, but Dazai was fast, if not determined. He hurried down the stairways, and out of the back doors. With ease, he avoided all the people littering the complex, and hurried down through a path in the trailing woods that he’d dedicated to memory. Practically skipping through them, Dazai made quick work, coming out of the woods a building or two away from the hospital—a much shorter route than what it would normally take. But Dazai had long since found a much simpler, faster way to pester his partner when he was in the hospital. It’s not like Dazai wasn’t the one who even brought him there, but he’d much rather stay somewhere else than that stuffy hospital lobby or, god forbid, Mori’s office.
Now by the backdoor of the hospital, wind biting at his face, Dazai picked the lock and entered, quietly making his way to Chuuya’s room. The key to sneaking into places you weren’t supposed to be was confidence—mostly. If you had enough confidence, enough people wouldn’t question you. Of course, that doesn’t work in some situations, but it was a pleasant understanding that that would work just fine for today.
Dazai dipped around corners and avoided most doctors and patients in the hospital, because why take the risk?
Understandably, Chuuya’s hospital room was in a higher, more isolated part of the building for his safety and security. But by no means would that stop Dazai.
With a huff, he double checked the room number and name (he’d check the window, but it was covered) and picked the lock, turning and opening the door as quietly as possible, toeing his shoes off at the door and shutting it silently behind him. He padded his way to Chuuya’s hospital bed and gazed at Chuuya’s sleeping form. He looked much more peaceful when he slept, despite his current state. Though the nurses cleaned him up a lot more since Dazai brought him in. He wasn’t covered in blood and gashes, and his hair wasn’t matted with knots and more blood, his torn and stained clothes were traded for a more favorable hospital gown. One that’s neckline was far too big for Chuuya, revealing his collarbones and almost hanging off of his shoulders. He looked paler than usual, his face flushed with a faint blush that dusted across his cheeks and over his nose. Hopefully he wasn’t sick, Dazai would rather not get a cold.
After observing Chuuya’s state, Dazai realized he’d been standing and staring at Chuuya for a little too long now. He shook his thoughts out of his head and quietly pulled over a guest chair to sit beside Chuuya’s bed. Unfortunately, since Chuuya wasn’t awake yet, Dazai would just have to wait for him to do so, however long that took.
He crossed his arms on the side of the bed, laying his head in his arms. Sitting and gazing at somebody’s sleeping form was a lot less weird than standing and staring down at them, in Dazai’s opinion. Dazai listened to the steady beats from the heart rate monitor, the slightly quickened beep…beep…beep…. Chuuya was small, and he was always functioning at a million miles a minute, so his heartbeat was always a little faster than normal—Dazai had observed this over time.
He could hear Chuuya’s breathing as well, his mouth parted just slightly, small huffs of air as he breathed in a stable rhythm. In, and out. In, and out. The gentle silence broken by the hospital room’s noises from the monitor and from Chuuya were almost mesmerizing. Dazai’s eyes began to shut unwillingly. He hadn’t slept in a long time, and although that was far from unusual, the dimness and rythm in the room lulled him into exhaustion. He let his eyes fall shut, and waited patiently for Chuuya to wake up. (He always wakes up.)
Dazai’s senses were quickly alerted by the new sound of bedsheets shuffling and clothes rustling. He squinted, scrunching his nose in the process. Chuuya was stirring in his sleep, presumably gaining consciousness. Dazai stayed still and watched him with a calm gaze.
Chuuya opened his eyes, screwing them up quickly again at the onslaught of light. He weakly raised his arms, laying one over his face and hiding his eyes. Dazai covered a smile in the crook of his elbow. Chuuya surely sensed Dazai’s presence as soon as he gained consciousness, but couldn’t prove it until he saw him.
He groaned, shifting more in his position to slide further down and turn his head in the direction he presumed Dazai was (correctly assuming, of course). He huffed as a sign of acknowledging Dazai’s presence. Dazai opened his eyes fully, and lifted his head just slightly to look at Chuuya better. Their usual routine was in swing..
“Good morning, sleepy head,” Dazai teased. Chuuya sighed, slowly removing his arm and squinting at Dazai. His eye bags were dark, and his mismatched eyes reflected the light coming in from the window beautifully, pools of brown and blue swirling alluringly.
Chuuya poked weakly at Dazai’s face, squishing his cheek and pinching it, pulling at his skin. He let him, and stifled a smile.
“Miss me? I’m sure you did. My dog can’t go so long without its master,” Dazai shifted one of his hands to draw mindless shapes in the fabric of the blanket over Chuuya’s legs.
Chuuya groaned, as if to say ‘In your dreams would I be missing your presence.’
“Yah, that’s why you always know when I'm around. Even when you can’t see me,” Dazai joked. He liked that Chuuya could sense him with ease, it made their games more fun and trying to surprise him an even funner challenge.
Chuuya pulled especially hard at Dazai’s cheek, and Dazai understood it well enough.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, survival skills, it’s you staying alert for danger because you always think the worst of me,” Dazai pouted, “Chuuya is always so cruel to me.”
Chuuya rolled his eyes and smiled fondly, mindlessly holding Dazai’s face and rubbing gentle and slow circles into his cheekbone. It would be soothing by the hands of anybody else, Dazai would say, but he couldn’t deny it was soothing when it was Chuuya, even especially so because it was Chuuya.
He sighed through his nose and rested his head in his crossed arms again, still drawing little stars and triangles into the blanket. “Kouyou was in quite the fit when I came back from the mission empty handed. To her at least, because I'd taken you to the hospital first, and gone to her office second. She hates when you go into corruption, ‘says it’s weaponizing your ability. I think it’s fascinating. I’ve never seen anything like it, it piques my curiosity. Despite it, and what you may believe and have been told, I don’t think anything artificial could hold such a power, I think only something as raw as a human body and soul could host something that fervent. Plus if you really were artificial, shouldn’t they have like, given you better genes or something. Maybe a little height at the very least, I mean come on, 158 centimeters was a bit cruel—”
“Jeez, Dazai, shut up for once. You’re insufferable…” Chuuya spoke, voice thick and raspy with misuse (And it’s previous endeavors). Dazai shut his mouth, and smiled up at Chuuya, near akin to a fox. Chuuya poked his thumb roughly into the flesh of Dazai’s cheek. ’Shut up’.
“Hmm, a shame you didn’t finally lose your voice this time. I was really hoping you lost it for good after this mission. You wouldn’t shut up when you were going berserk.”
“God, I wish I weren’t bedridden right now or I would strangle you. You’re so stupid it physically hurts, I'm in this bed because you’re so stupid I got hospitalized.”
“For somebody who just awoke from a twenty hour loss of consciousness, you sure are talkative. Doesn’t Chuuya know that if he weren’t bed ridden i’d still be annoying him? So stupid…” Dazai tsk’d, “Maybe corruption is frying your brain…”
“Won’t you shut up about corruption? I hate it,” Chuuya spoke airily. They both know those words were meant to be said with an air of anger, but it fell flat. Chuuya’s real feelings towards the topic seeped through with not nearly enough venom as he wished they could.
“Hm?” Dazai tipped his head to the side, raising an eyebrow in question, “You hate it?”
“...Yes,’ Chuuya huffed, coughing into his shoulder.
“Why?”
At first, Chuuya didn’t reply, just stared into Dazai’s dark, light-swallowing eyes, brows furrowed and nose scrunched up in clear distaste for the current subject of discussion.
“I just…don’t.”
“You have reasons. Tell me?” Dazai prodded.
“Why should I?”
Dazai leveled him with a look that communicated more than enough of what he needed to say. Eyes harsh around the edges, but mellow and soft on the inside.
“...It scares me. I’m afraid of what I become when in a state like that, and I'm afraid of how I can’t do anything to stop it. Being in corruption feels… vulnerable. Like I’m tearing open my chest and my mind for everybody to see while everything in my body oozes and leaks out of me,” Chuuya spoke in a low voice, something soft, but with an edge. Almost like an audible example of an animal, hurt and bleeding, baring its teeth and making itself look big and scary to survive. “I don’t know.”
“Hm,” Dazai hummed, changing from drawing shapes on Chuuya’s leg to writing words. Mindless statements that wouldn’t ever be voiced. “I disagree.”
“Do share,” Chuuya sighed, voice flat with faux interest.
“I think corruption is the raw form of your ability, and thus in it’s form it’s tearing open what resides within you, showing not who you are, but what you control, and the power that you have. You’re unable to stop it, and that’s scary, I can agree with that point, but you see corruption as vulnerability when I see it as a show. One of the intensity you possess and the damage you can do when you wish to do so. And I think that’s fascinating, and maybe you shouldn’t find peace in it, but you shouldn’t find vulnerability.”
They stared at each other with an intensity rivaling that of a storm.
“I hate you,” Chuuya whispered, voice cracking softly.
“Not more than I hate you,” Dazai whispered back, his sly smile plastered on his face once more.
“You wish. Get on the bed with me,” Chuuya let go of Dazai’s face, something he hadn’t realized he’d been doing this whole time.
“Why?” Dazai questioned.
“I’m tired of looking down at you, it’s hurting my neck and shoulders.” Dazai nodded and stood from his position in the chair, stretching out his back, cracking and popping the joints like he’d done in Kouyou’s office. He could admit that his position was starting to hurt his body as well.
“Shove over,” Dazai hummed, lightly pushing at Chuuya’s side. He complied, shuffling closer to his side with the heartbeat monitor and IV, allowing Dazai to crawl onto the bed after removing his coat and loosening the tie around his neck.
They squirmed and moved until they were both comfortable, their legs tangled together and their heartbeats almost in sync (only if Chuuya’s didn’t run rampant all the time).
“Your eyebags look worse than usual somehow,” Chuuya pointed out, snaking his arm underneath Dazai’s shoulders and tangling his hand in his bird’s nest of brown hair.
“Likely because Chuuya had me up for so long after our mission,” Dazai laughed breathily, a faux frustrated tone coating his words. He splayed his arm over Chuuya’s hip, mindlessly drawing shapes into his back, mimicking his earlier actions. Stars and hearts, triangles and squares, and tracing over the bumps in his spine.
“I wasn’t conscious, or even with you for most of that time. How could I possibly keep you awake?” Chuuya questioned, shivering slightly at the touch.
“Well, my dearest Chuuya, small half of Double Black if you will, I was up all twenty hours you were out. I brought you back after the mission and I waited in Ane-san’s office until she got a call that you were stable. When she did, I hurried over here, obviously.”
“Why go through so much trouble for me?” Chuuya laughed into Dazai’s shoulder.
“Because! I have to be at the ready to pester and annoy my dog as soon as I can! What kind of master would I be if I let you be to rest for any moment? Even in your sleep?” Dazai buried his face in Chuuya’s hair, his words muffling near the end.
“You’re so obsessed with me. It makes you look like a dog yourself,” Chuuya gently fisted his hand in Dazai’s hair, tugging lightly at the strands in a playful manor.
“Chuuya’s so mean to me,” Dazai pouted, and in turn lightly scratched his nails at Chuuya’s spine.
“It’s because you’re just so insufferable,” Chuuya let go of his hair, running his fingers through the hairs at the nape of Dazai’s neck and nuzzling slightly at his shoulder.
“That’s why you’re wrapped around me right now, of course. Because you find me so endlessly insufferable. Of course,” Dazai laughed, once again returning to shapes on Chuuya’s back, thumbing over every joint from his neck down to his hips.
“Of course, and that’s why you stay awake after a mission until you know I'm okay. Just to rush to wherever I am and explain how intensively beautiful you find me in my destruction. Of course.”
“Likewise,” Dazai squeezed at Chuuya’s waist, making him laugh and pull lightly at Dazai’s hair.
“You’re just so insufferable that I have to be here when you wake up,” Dazai lowered his voice.
“And you’re just so insufferable that I wake up every time. Just to spite your best wishes,” Chuuya matched his volume
“That’s why I stay by your side, to make sure you don’t wake up. I’m praying on your downfall.”
“Of course,” Chuuya huffed a laugh and tugged Dazai’s hair just enough to move his face, so Chuuya could look him in the eyes. Soft around the edges, and yet burning bright in their core. “Because I'm just so insufferable.”
“En par as always Chuuya,” Dazai smiled, “Alluringly so.”
Of course.
And after, despite it all, their routine will repeat again and again until change occurs, and yet they’re content to let it remain. Between hospital visits and bloodshed, nothing can bar the vitality of Yokohama’s vicious duo.